Movie conspiracy theories (…and it was all a dream)

Disclaimer: these theories have all been found while searching the dark corners of the internet, and are for fun only. If any bring you to tears, just remember that you’re loved, and the creators of these films probably didn’t even think that deeply into it and have been staring at it all like “… What? Who is /that/ extra?”

Toy Story

What’s the theory?

Jessie’s owner was Andy’s mother. Y’know, Jessie’s owner, the b*tch who ditched.

Check out Andy’s hat. Check out Woody’s hat. HMMMMM.

HMMMMMMM.

Zoom in on the bed… that’s totally the same hat that Andy’s wearing.

Also, we know that Jessie was with Emily (The B Who D’d) like, YEARS ago, which could easily match up to when Andy’s mama was a kid.

HMMMMMMM.

WHEN SOMEBODY LOVED ME, EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL. EVERY HOUR SPENT TOGETHER LIVES WITHIN MY HEART.

HOW COULD YOU LEAVE HER BEHIND, EMILY?!

Could it be true?

(We’re too busy crying to even care at this point. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO JESSIE YOU EVIL MONSTER?!)

The Shining

What’s the theory?

So, apparently, the movie “proves” Kubrick helped fake the moon landing. The signs are all there.

EXHIBIT A:

Danny’s jumper. Just look. Apollo, USA, a rocket launching. Danny starts off on the floor and stands up, basically mimicking a rocket while Kubrick is mocking EVERYBODY. It’s basically him saying “Here. Look at how easy it is. Do you believe THAT’S proof of the moon landing too?! Huh?! Do ya?!”

EXHIBIT B: Check out that super ugly carpet. The carpet that (apparently) is patterned after launch pads. Danny. Acting like a rocket launcher (one who launches rockets). While sat on launch pads. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

Could it be true?

Yeah, maybe Kubrick faked the moon landing… except that there IS no such thing as the moon. Boom.

Frozen & Tarzan

What’s the theory?

What do Elsa, Tarzan, and Anna all have in common?

… PARENTS.

Anna and Elsa’s parents were pregnant. With a boy. They experience a shipwreck. They wash up on a shore. The boy is born. They’re eaten by leopards. The boy is raised by gorillas. The director of Frozen also directed Tarzan.

Could it be true?

We’re not scientists, but there’s a lot of hype around people who look literally nothing alike being the same people, and we’re pretty sure being stranded on an island doesn’t change your hair from blond to brown or brown to red… but then again… his chin is… kind of similar… and the director has literally said that it’s true…

But we just can’t believe that such a tiny blond moustache could turn into such a majestic beard that somehow completely misses his chin.

Aladdin

What’s the theory?

The whole film is actually set in the year 10,200. At LEAST. I know, right?

So Genie takes one look at Aladdin’s outfit and he’s like, “Damn son, your swagga is so third century.” Except that he also was like:

So that’s a 10,000 years CONSISTENTLY since at least the third century.

Which also means that all the magic could actually be science – the rug, the genies, all of it.

Which also, ALSO, means… maybe one day this could be reality.

Could it be true?

We f*cking hope so.

Nosferatu

What’s the theory?

The “individual” who played Nosferatu, Max Schreck (Schreck meaning ‘terror’, BTW…) is actually… wait for it… a real vampire in real, actual, genuine life. Apparently a film critic thought the “actor’s” name had never been revealed, and was all ‘Well, who is he then?! CLEARLY he’s actually Nosferatu. It’s the only explanation. Don’t test me on this.’

And look at the way he moves. Clearly that’s not CGI or ropes or anything else. It’s all real. Only an actual vampire could do that. IT’S ALL REAL.

Could it be true?

We’re pretty sure we’re getting a bit too deep into life… so we’re just gonna say “Ha! What? Pff. Vampires aren’t real. What? Haha! Pfffffffff.”

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

What’s the theory?

Time to get spooky. Ferris Bueller… is… not real. Nope. He’s a figment of Cameron’s imagination. Cameron is shy and reserved and he wants to break free, be more spontaneous, have a more exciting life. So clearly the best way to do that is by having a super outgoing imaginary friend Fight Club-style to live through.

It also helps explain a whole bunch of unrealistic stuff- like Ferris Bueller taking over a float and having everyone just loving him enough to let it happen. That also means that Sloane is actually HIS girlfriend… which explains why when she figures out that he was watching her change her clothes she wasn’t at all as uncomfortable or pissed off as she absolutely could’ve been.

Look. She’s totally chill with her boyfriend’s best friend pretending to be out of it to watch her.

Suspicious, much?

It also explains how, riiiight at the end Cameron does something super impulsive and reckless – it’s Ferris’ influence. The Ferris Bueller Effect.

Could it be true?