Trading Places – actors who would take a film from 1 to 100
Jacqueline Dawson – Titanic (1997)
Who should’ve played Jack?
Emma Watson. Duh.
Why?
Okay, first of all, why the hell not? Second of all, boat goes down, women get put on the boat to safety, Jacqueline and Rose sail off happily ever after. Nobody dies. Everyone is happy. Also, Emma Watson. You’re welcome.
Leo did a fabulous job as Jack and we’ll never be over how cute he looks in that little suit of his… there’s just ONE thing we would change. Seriously. This is definitely the best idea you’ve heard in a long time.
Tequila – Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)
Who should’ve played Tequila?
Rami Malek
Why?
Nobody would really believe that Channing Tatum could do all those terrible things he did in Kingsman (Drugs? Torture? Not our Channing) but Rami has the whole bad-boy thing about him that we can all appreciate. He’d also look mega adorbs in a cowboy hat and suit which is a giant plus.
Channing Tatum is a total babe (as he always is) in Kingsman: The Golden Circle, but I think we can all agree that we need some more Rami noodles in our lives.
Wendy Torrance – The Shining (1980)
Who should’ve played Wendy?
Claire Danes – hello.
Why?
She has the perfect blonde, innocent-looking thing to her that The Shining literally mentions in the book. So apart from fitting that perfectly, we’d want to save her, not open the door to let Jack in. Nobody ever wants blonde people to die in horror movies. Fact.
Yeah, we know, Shelley Duvall is mega creepy looking (still love you, boo) and that kinda adds to the whole ‘what is going on’ vibe to The Shining, but don’t deny that some part of you kinda wanted her to die. Let’s fix that.
Regem George – Mean Girls (2004)
Who should’ve played Regina?
Tituss Burgess.
Why?
Because it would be perfect? Because it would be innovative? Because it would fill the hole in everyone’s lives? If you don’t know who Tituss Burgess is, get out from under your rock. He’s been changing the game since 2015 and any woman who thinks they can even come close to his level of sass needs to take a huge step back. Besides, Mean Girls is seriously lacking in some diversity.
We’d NEVER say Rachel McAdams did a bad job (that’s basically blasphemy) but… y’know… imagine…
El Diablo – Suicide Squad (2016)
Who should’ve played El Diablo?
Justin Baldoni. Just look at that face.
Why?
Justin Baldoni is too cute to EVER hurt anyone. Please. You know what he would use pyrokinesis for? Warming the elderly. Cooking for the homeless. Entertaining children. Roasting marshmallows. (Justin Baldoni for president)
If you ask us, they got El Diablo completely wrong.
